No One Needs a Herve Leger Bandage Dress Anyway
The subtext of wearing a Herve Leger dress is that you’re a) loaded and b) fairly-style free. It’s not that squeezing into an ombre condom isn’t a momentous triumph on par with tasting the air at the top of Mount Everest. But we’ve been over them before The Daily Beast declared the end of bodycon. Leger frocks usually start at $1,000 and the ridiculous prices ascend from there, which makes them easier to ignore. But the truth is, there are pricey luxury brands that we PRAY will wake up and discover body diversity. Herver Leger isn’t one of them.
So imagine our boredom when everyone found out the UK boss, Patrick Couderc, was a total jerkhole. In an attempt to be guiding light for voluptuous and butch ladies who prefer a life of leisure instead of a constricting night out in a bandage dress, he wisely offered this guidance to the Daily Mail:
If you’re a committed lesbian and you are wearing trousers all your life, you won’t want to buy a Leger dress. Lesbians would want to be rather butch and leisurely.
Always helpful when a dude who is up on things can tell us what “committed lesbians” would like to participate in as far as fashion.
‘You women have a lot of problems. You will lose the plot. You will come and you will put a dress on and you’ll be in front of the mirror, like, “Argh, I’m so fat.”
It’s like he’s reading the collective minds of all women.
Exclusionary statements about the kind of customers you really want to dress are one of the worst of all public relations moves. But this one is actually offensive with redeeming comedic value. Because this dress was never worth it. Body pride is glorious. Showing off your bod in a naked dress that keeps a death grip on your waist is always a welcome sight. That’s if it’s a cool design in addition to be slightly pervy. But we were fine without you anyway, Herve Leger.
The handful of fashionable people we talked to about this latest screw-up are also voluptuous lesbians, and they all said “no” when we asked them if they would want a Herve Leger dress if they won the lotto. Because the dresses are dated, and even though people in certain circles wear them, they’re a joke now. It’s always unforgivable when a brand representative is this embarrassing. But at least we were already boycotting Herve Leger because we had no interest.